Lets face it every person who goes through any sort of crisis or is loosing public interest gets a good PR firm to help turn things around. Tiger Woods is rumored to be using Ari Fliescher, former Bush Press Secretary to help put a good spin on the major blows to his reputation (prescription drug abuse, womanizing, cheating… I could go on). Every move he makes is carefully orchestrated, even the first picture taken of him was planned and staged. But Tiger is still in the news, people are still looking forward to his return to golf so really what does this planet need for people to notice it and not turn their back on it?
First, Earth needs to hire a PR firm, one that is so big and famous for getting the people who are unnoticed, noticed again (who works with Betty White?). The economy pushed Earth to the back burner, I am pretty sure more people are interested in the C- celebrities in on Celebrity Fit Club and the nobody’s on American Idol more than what is going on with the planet. A firm that just by taking Earth on as client will get in the news… hmm?!
Second, Earth needs a new spokes person Al Gore is awesome but he does not have a wide enough appeal. There is the option to go with someone unknown, look at what happened when Conan O’Brien picked a random person to follow on Twitter, @lovelybutton, she has 27,950 followers and has been on the news and was invited to Larry King (she was bumped for breaking news). Maybe by taking just a random person and making them the spokesman for the Earth will get it noticed. A baby may be a good option because they have not done anything offensive to the Earth yet to appear to be a hypocrite (but it would have to be a baby that used cloth diapers and drinks out of glass bottles). Maybe there is a celebrity with a good environmental record… lets get that PR firm on that, maybe the clean slate of a baby would work after all.
Third, A good Facebook page and campaign to get fans or friends. Currently, Earth only has 2,285 fans on Facebook and the Devil has 6,077 but Obama has 7,848,841 fans (BTW Betty White has 66,460 fans). Maybe Earth should just start a Farm and play Mafia Wars then lots of people will notice it.
Fourth, hire a developer to create an iPhone and Droid App and it has to be as cool as Google Goggles! I have no idea what it could be, maybe you could take pictures of things and the app would show you what it would look like in 100 or 1,000 years like a plastic water bottle would look exactly the same but a fresh compost heap would turn into a garden of veggies?!
Earth then needs to be in a blockbuster movie that everyone loves, win an Oscar (while being on every best dressed list) and hit the talk show circuit. After the wild ride starts to slow down, there needs to be a book that comes out about the “behind the scenes” (or under the crust) about the tough times Earth had before it got noticed and how it got to be the hot topic it became.
Earth’s current PR strategy of earthquakes, tsunamis, violent rain storms, and dropping feet of snow at a time is not working. PR firms around the world should fight over who will get the credit for turning the Earth around and make it a big star that people want to follow.
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